Democrats Supporting Democrat

Wow. Talk about your misleading headline.

Guard veterans back Obama over McCain

Om fact, the story is about a gathering of McCain-backing veterans and the TWO ELECTED DEMOCRAT Guard members who said that they support Obama.  Gee, elected Democrats supporting their presumptive nominee?  Unheard of!  Absurd! Preposterous! That mainstream media outsmarts us again! Fox News has never been so tricky!

Men Go to Jail For Setting Friend’s Crotch On Fire

Ouch. We're not all about politics here, kids. Sometimes we're about the crotch-on-fire jokes.

Two practical jokers are behind bars for setting their passed-out drinking buddy’s crotch ablaze while boozing in Grover Beach. Matthew Craig Pillers and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer pleaded no contest to a felony great bodily injury charge. Prosecutors say the 22-year-old Pillers, a parolee, was sentenced to two years in prison and the 19-year-old Keiffer got 45 days in San Luis Obispo County jail. Elliot Tuleja was passed out when the men poured cologne on the man’s groin and set him on fire on Jan. 18. Tuleja had second-degree burns on his testicles.

WEAC’s 2009-2010 Legislative Agenda

WEAC has released it’s legislative agenda.  Here’s what they want for voucher schools.

WEAC supports legislation to hold private and religious voucher schools to the same standards as public schools, including:

- Minimum hours of instruction.
- Licensure of all instructional staff.
- Background checks on teachers.
- Grade advancement, high school graduation, attendance and parental involvement requirements and standards.
- Administration of required state standardized tests and testing required under the so-called “No Child Left Behind” law, including public reporting requirements.
- Prohibition of forced religious activity.
- Nondiscrimination standards.
- Enforcement by the Department of Public Instruction (DPI) of rules and regulations.
- Certified reading specialists and reading programs.

According to WEAC, religious schools shouldn’t be able to actually require the teaching of religion.  Uh huh.  If this happens to go through, expect many of the voucher schools to just leave the program - which is exactly what WEAC wants. 

They're trying to put strings on vouchers, holding them to the same preconditions as public-funded schools! No fair! What I want is for the tax money to go to religious schools.

Follow the logic: God said so. The Republicans are just doing God's will regarding schools. WEAC doesn't want this, so they are against God. My wife agrees with me, which is pretty much the cap on the top of any argument.

West Bend Woman Gives Birth While Camping

What the hell…

A West Bend woman gave birth while camping in Fond du Lac County, but that wasn’t the biggest surprise. The woman claimed she didn’t know she was pregnant! The baby girl was born in a restroom. The mother is in her mid-20s.

What is that woman thinking, having her first child in her mid-20s? Damn liberals, thinking they can go against God's will for early pregnancy.

Musical History

Every person has a musical history - a catalog of songs that maps out the important moments in a person’s life.  Here is a portion of mine.

This is a song that reminds me of my youth.  To be honest, I grew up with Willie and his entire catalog conjures up memories.

This song is about two men who clearly think the world of each other, yet have to break up. It includes lines like "The dust that Pancho bit down south ended up in Lefty's mouth."

Here’s another one from my youth. It's about prison and putting a man to death. Oh, cheerful days of my youth!

When I think of my Dad in the context of him being dead and all, this song tops them all. This one is about selling your soul for the pursuit of money, losing your ideals and then feeling like you haven't made any progress at all.

This is the song that conjures up memories of cruising up to the farm in the Texas heat with my brother. So many questions...

Why is he wearing a UK jacket and no pants? Where is Pair of Dice City? Are those banners in German? Why is he running around with a whistle in his mouth? Is that a big swan over the stage? Why is the audience full of guys? Why do I associate this with cruising?

Here’s a song that brings up memories of my later years in Riyadh.  I don’t care what you say… Tommy Lee was a helluva drummer. 

I like these kind of post-Apocalyptical rock videos. Everyone's wearing their leather and dancing around the rubble. Isn't it kind of freaky the way these guys are so cool, yet they're wearing make-up and tight pants? Some are even wearing cool boots. I want to be like them. I wish I had pointy shoulder protectors like that guitarist, the one holding that long, stiff guitar and shaking it like he means business. You'd think that bare, unprotected and oiled skin would not be an advantage in an environment full of sharp concrete and exposed re-bar. How can rocks catch on fire? Interesting!

In High School, a group of friends and I (The “Fun Bunch") went skiing several times.  One trip was just after U2’s “Achtung Baby” came out.  We listened to it the entire time to and fro’.  Do you like phrases like "to and fro"? Does "fro" have an apostrophe at the end or the front? Was it a regular word before it was a hairstyle that certain kinds of rioting thugs have? Here’s a memory from then (my favorite song off of the album):

As you might know, my older brother died a few years ago.  Here are two songs that I continue to associate with him. The first is by a gentle girl singer who makes commercials about saving pets from certain death. The second is about drinking too much, I think.

When I was falling in love with Wendy, two songs ingrain themselves into my memory. One is about losing all power of rational thought due to music, dancing and darkness. The other starts out about drinking and eating "any time you want," then does a funky segue into a story about lost love and slowly decaying marriage ending in divorce due to living beyond one's means. I've never understood why Billy Joel never sang about gaining weight. Both songs are quite romantic, I guess. And interesting!

When Jed and my good friend, Michael, passed away (four years ago as of yesterday), this song was on the radio and fit perfectly.  I miss Jed. I missed Michael. I like this video even though the cowboy isn't wearing fancy boots.

Here’s the song that continues to be my favorite song and I play whenever I need to think. I don't know why, but thinking about liberal rockers clarifies my thoughts.

This the song that I play when I’m heading into an important event, like a speech or something, where I’m not entirely confident.  It helps give me the veneer of confidence.  If you see me slightly bobbing my head before a speech, this is what I’m thinking of… (NSFW).

"Cuz you never met a m*fer quite like me!" Doesn't that remind you of me? I'm the craziest guy! I put the "sack" in cul-de-sac! Did you see him scratch himself? This is also why I like to think of myself being in my underwear.

Of course there are many more, but that gives you a glimpse into the music that makes up my history. 

What songs conjure up memories in y’all? I say that when I'm feeling Southern.

Tour The Clinton Library

Keep it down, boys. These sorts of Clinton jokes are a little less funny if you start acknowledging that you wish your life was as exciting as his. As Republicans, we're just supposed to tut-tut and preach a little bit about morality after a joke like this.

Exaggerate much?

Puh-lease.

“Mania” is a silly word to use when describing a “Nation” that is probably the only one smaller than Vatican City.  Seriously, “Brewer Nation?” Ah, Milwaukee and its little (league) sports teams. 

Off to the park! It's a little cloudy today, though, so I'm a little sad. After the park, I've scheduled myself a shopping excursion to Shoe World! That'll perk me up! It always does. Whatever blows my skirt up!

Quick Thought On Being a Minority

I’ve long thought that the terms “minority” and “majority” are useless without context.  I think some highly respected philosophers would agree with me! So often I find myself so occupied by my laser-like focus on an issue, like the role of white males in society, that it's hard to see the context when some liberal starts spouting off about "minorities." First, it depends on what one is talking about.  I am a white person.  In that regard, I am in the Majority in West Bend.  I am also a Lutheran male.  In that regard, I am in the minority in West Bend.  See the context? I used a big 'M' when I referred to the White Majority. If you add up the women and men of other religions, I am far outnumbered.  Wisconsin is 55% Protestant, so we're a majority. If you only look at Lutherans, we're 23%! And then you'd need to break it down into different types of Lutherans, because they're so very different. At church, there are some things that only the men can do, so we can still be in charge even if we're not the actual majority. No matter what the topic, I bet I can add specifiers to turn myself into a minority, too! Even though I'm White! That's crazy, no? I mean, I'm so used to being a Majority, I didn't realize I could be a minority, too. It goes on and on! At an AFP meeting, we all pretty much look like middle-aged white guys, yet the bloggers are a minority! One can only really use the terms “minority” and “majority” if one specifies to what the term is being applied. Sort of like "big" and "little," I guess!

Second, the scope of the characterization must also be specified - whether geographically or otherwise.  As a white person, I am in the majority in Wisconsin, but a minority in the world.  When I lived in Riyadh, I was part of a tiny minority, if you overlook the whiteness and focus on religion or other signifiers like general swarthiness, which I'm not. As a voter, I am in the minority almost all of the time except most Presidential elections, when I join the majority.  (It's not looking so good for the next election, though. I know we're all a little sad about that. I hope that the new majority is as nice to us afterwards as we were to them during the Bush administrations. Maybe there's a slim hope that the minority can win again, as we did over Kerry and Gore.)

“Minority” and “majority” are relative terms that one should view dubiously if they are thrown out without the relevant context.  Follow the logic! This is a deeply intellectual blog sometimes. Next time, I might philosophize about "big" and "little," which can be very confusing if you really think about it while you sit in your den in front of the computer while surfing in the dark in your underwear at 21:56 hours. With all those specifiers, I bet I'm a minority for doing that, too! It's all relative, I guess! Except for that statement, which is always true. Whoa! I just blew my own mind!

Happy Independence Day!

And you wonder why we were college roommates.

I guess it's all in what we find "Interesting."

Epic Pressures Vendors to Drop WMC

This is interesting.

Epic Systems Corp., the Verona-based electronic medical records company, is threatening to pull its business from local vendors who support the state’s largest business lobby over a political disagreement with the group. In a statement to the State Journal, the company cited concern over Wisconsin Manufacturers and Commerce’s spending this year on behalf of state Supreme Court candidate Michael Gableman, estimated at $1.8 million, as a reason for working only with vendors whose officials oppose WMC’s agenda. “We believe that what we tolerate is what we stand for, and as corporate citizens, we stand for the preservation of the foundation of the judicial system,” said the statement, attributed to the Epic Management Team. “… After careful consideration, we made a decision to try to work only with vendors that do not support WMC with its current management. This was not a decision we made lightly, but believe it is the right thing to do.”

Obviously, the folks at Epic can do whatever they want.  If they disapprove of WMC and want to cut off support for them, that’s their prerogative. 

But if I were an investor in Epic, I would seriously evaluate my investment.  Whenever a company starts to make decisions based on emotion or politics instead of what makes the most financial sense for the company, it’s bound to impact the bottom line. 

Follow the logic: Because Gableman won the election, Epic will lose money if they try to tell WMC what to do. Nobody tells WMC what to do, not even members. The more logical route is for Epic's board to give lots and lots of money to its executives, who can launder the money to candidates in other ways. Anyone knows that.

It's as obvious as the fact that employees with political blogs will add value to any company's bottom line, too. As with WMC membership, it's kind of like they're paying me for my opinions.

Camcorder Search

And here I turn to our intelligent readers for some advice… We’re in the market for a camcorder.  It’s a technology about which I know little.  Polaroids, sure. We don’t really need anything in DVDs or tapes, because the vast majority of our videos will probably be played on a computer, alone, in the den.  I’m thinking a flash or hard drive camcorder would be best, but am open to persuasion.  Something that's water-proof and has that cool night-vision mode would be great. We’re also not looking to spend more than $500 or so. 

Any suggestions?

Rotating Skyscraper for Dubai

Cool. There's nothing we like more than something tall, thick and rotating, with an ever-shifting shape. This is way better than that big Acuity flag pole I see on my weekly drive to check the condition of our state's rest stops.

This artist rendering released by Dynamic Architecture shows a rotating skyscraper that is to be built in Dubai, in various stages of movement. An Italian architect said he is poised to start construction on the new skyscraper that will be ‘the world’s first building in motion,’ an 80-story tower with revolving floors that give it an ever-shifting shape.

Those McGee Apologists

You know what I want?  I know that I’m not going to get it, but it would be really nice. I'm nice and I have a nice house and a wife who watches the kids and a job that allows me to blog freely during the day, so I deserve this.

I want an apology from the Michael McGee apologists.  You know who you are. I'm not going to name them, I'll just call them "Them."

In no small part, I am the victim here. I want an apology for being called a racist when I called McGee a crook and a thug years ago when it was obvious.  Maybe it'll make up for all the other times I've been accused of racism. I'm not prejudiced against them. I'm not kidding, there were several black guys at the last AFP rally, and they were on our side!

I want an apology for those who told me to shut up because I don’t live in Milwaukee.  We just feel safe on our cul de sac, what can I say? I want an apology given to Milwaukeeans by those who covered for McGee for years and allowed him to prey on his district. Follow the logic: It makes sense for everyone who ever supported the victim to apologize to me, the Boots and Kittens blogger. I, in turn, will relay the apology to those this criminal preyed on.

Before they deliver the apology, they must say "I am a dooty-head" three times. Loudly. They must say all this while standing on one leg. For the subsequent three months, we can say they have cooties with no take backs.

Most of all, they need to come to me to do it. They must come to West Bend. There's no way I'm going downtown at night to certain neighborhoods, if you know what I mean. We know where Those McGee Apologists live, don't we?

Will any of the people who said that McGee was just being picked on because he was an outspoken black “leader” man up and admit that they completely misjudged the situation?  No.  I doubt it. 

Sometimes I can just look at a guy and know whether he should be sitting in jail or not. McGee really needed to cool off for a year or so. Some don't. You can just tell by looking at them!

I hope someone proves me wrong.  And I won’t hold my breath for an apology.  You can't hold your breath forever, you know. You can whine, cry and say you want a pony ride and ice cream cones at your birthday party, though.

Being indignant makes for a good blog post. It gives you an occasional sense of righteousness and outrage about crimes in the inner city. Can you imagine living there? I can't. It just has that urban feel. Give me good ol' West Bend any day. As of 2000, we were 97.3% white with the rest being other types, I guess. Interesting! I thought we were pretty much uniform.

General Tsao Would Be Mortified…

...if he knew what someone was doing to his chicken. Ick.  See what’s happening at a Milwaukee Chinese restaurant.  Your fortune cookie reads, “You may look forward to intestinal discomfort.”

Why is WTMJ’s blond lady with the too-long and bulky bangs not pounding on their door?  I mean, I'd stand back from that door, and I'm not sure I'd touch it. That's why I'll leave it up to her. Off to the park! Then maybe some shoe shopping. And bangs! Don't get me started about my bangs! Can you believe these things! What has happened to my hair lately?

U.S. Lifts Some Sanctions Against North Korea

FYI. Oceania is our friend. Oceania has always been our friend! Iran is our enemy!

(I heard at the next AFP rally, this is set to music as part of the sing-along that also talks about the newly pressing need for off-shore drilling. Gotta keep it fresh!)

The Bush administration on Thursday will lift some trade sanctions against North Korea and move to take it off the U.S. terrorism blacklist — a remarkable turnaround in policy toward the communist regime, which President Bush once branded as part of an “axis of evil.” In exchange, the U.S. is fulfilling its promise to erase trade sanctions under the Trading With the Enemy Act, and notify Congress that, in 45 days, it intends to take North Korea off the State Department list of nations that sponsor terrorism, White House press secretary Dana Perino said.

No Bidding for Lake Delton Repair

Good idea?

Officials in this resort community on Monday approved forgoing a bidding process so cleanup and restoration of Lake Delton can continue without delay, and also began the task of getting back in the National Flood Insurance Program.

About 50 area business and homeowners attended the 20-minute meeting where the Village Board announced the state Department of Transportation will handle repairs to the breached area of the lake and Highway A, with the goal of restoring the lake by the spring. The village is working to create a diversion channel in the lake to direct water to its intended outlet at the dam, which should be completed this week.

It would take a couple of weeks to put an emergency bidding process together.  Would that really prevent a Spring date? I guess we need to trust the business owners. They know what's best for their citizens. It's kind of like in Iraq. No need to bid on the simple stuff. It's not like anyone is profiting from war.

I sure hope these people can keep their taxes low. That's what matters. Get their lake back in shape! Can you imagine not having a lake in front of your lake home for two years, much less one summer? These folks would suffer as much as anyone whose house fell in the river or whose corn is still under water. It's got to be there in spring or it's just not the same. I mean, the lake's been there like 80 years when an early subdivision developer made it. It has to come back, and pronto. It just goes to show you that communities don't really need to pay for all these endless environmental studies and flood planning and all that. You can save a bit on your tax burden by just skipping that stuff. No matter what, even if your dam breaks and the lake disappears, the business owners will be able to convince the local government that this is an emergency.

Hunger Riot?

After about 2,500 people rioted when hearing a false rumor that the government was handing out food stamps, this is what Alderman Hines had to say.

“The food crisis in Milwaukee - and throughout the United States - is worse than many of us have realized,” Hines said in a statement. “We expect long lines for free food in Third World countries; we don’t expect a line of 2,500 people waiting for food vouchers at the Marcia P. Coggs Center.”

Bull.  Let’s look at the evidence, shall we?  This is a picture from the MJS story. Look at this RIOT!

Tell me what you see.  Here’s a bit of what I see:

1. Ordinary police officers - they look like you and me and any other guy on my cul de sac, if we engaged in regular recreational exercise. Short hair, guns, nice boots. I fear for their lives, as they hold back the rioting throng. Look at them, those lazy rioters. They're all looking around. Kind shifty, if you ask me.

2. Woman talking on cell phone while she riots. These people don't even have respect for the rioting process. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe she's eating. And what's that in her bag? More cell phones? More food? And trying to get sympathy with that baby stroller? Where is the baby, lady? If you're so poor, why do you have a cell phone in this day and age? Anyone asking for aid should be using a used rotary phone at home as far as I'm concerned.

3. Man with designer jeans. Whatever happened to ordinary jeans? Why do they cover them with these useless pockets? It only makes them cost more. I heard that these pockets are where this sort of thug stores his vials of crack. And there's a woman wearing a fanny pack. Who's she trying to impersonate, a white woman on vacation in the big city? Crazy. Anyone asking for aid should be wearing worn-out clothes. If you have better clothes, you should be selling them for food. Which gets to my point:

4. Fat people. At some point in the past, some of these people clearly had food available to them. Anyone with a BMI over 30 should not get any aid, period. I don't care what their kids are like or how many dozen they have by different fathers. You just know that's the case, don't you? You can just tell by looking. That mama should've been giving that food to her kids. If she's stealing food at work, she should be taking some home in a bag for the kids. I know what my critics are going to say: There's a skinny person in the mob, too. She clearly has had her hair done, which gets to my next point.

5. Stylish pink-streaked hair. It's like she dipped her head in Kool-Aid or something. Can you imagine? What kind of salons do they have in that part of town? The hair of those who wish to receive aid must be uncolored and only slightly kempt. (Is that German for nappy?)

Yes, there are hungry people out there, but that does not explain what happened today.  As you can see from this horrific photo, it was an all-out riot. I see more in this picture, if you know what I mean. Most of the people in this picture are clearly well fed and have discretionary income to spend on their wants.  Everyone in that line is black. All the cops aren't. See what I mean?

This only points out the vital need for a faith-based approach to helping the poor. My church helps the poor. If we had some government grants to help the poor, we could help many more. It's kind of like charter schools. We'd confiscate their cell phones, help them cancel the plans to save money, get them engaged in some productive farm labor to help shed a few pounds, put them into respectable Republican cloth coats and pants, cut their hair into a reasonable style, and teach them to pray our way. They would not be able to leave until they were no longer poor. The armed supervisors would insure that everything ran smoothly and privately. They'd be so happy and well-fed, I bet they'd be singing! The old ways are the best, aren't they?