The Obama Infomercial

Sorry, I didn’t watch it.  I can’t take any politician bragging about themselves for a straight thirty minutes.  It seems like nothing more than a politician’s ego trip.  Who does he think he is? It's not like he's the Decider. If you watched it, feel free to comment. 

Racism at West Bend East High?

My column for the West Bend Daily News is online.  It’s called, ”Racism at West Bend East High?”

I suspect that the likes of Eugene Kane will call me racist for it.  Whatever.  People are always calling me "racist". Don't they understand that the misguided actions of a single teen can serve as an example for the absence of racism in our entire society? They're always faking it, if you ask me. That's what my column is about - speculation about what they might really be up to, sneaking around and all. It's a good thing we have those security cameras in place. It's all about spending tax money, especially by the white folks who feel guilty about the possibility someone might be racist. I don't. Whatever.

Black Ice

For those of you who know me, you know that I am a big AC/DC fan (would you agree, Jed?).  They have managed to stay a pure rock band for over 30 years now and their discology is legendary.  They are also one of the few bands to manage to lose their lead singer, come back with a lead singer of a completely different style, and remain incredibly successful.

Personally, I prefer the Bon Scott era.  T.N.T, Big Balls, The Jack, Ride On, Dirty Deeds, Dog Eat Dog, Sin City, Highway to Hell, and on and on remain a classic sensation of true rock, ambiguous titles and music to cruise by.

Then came the untimely death of Bon Scott, and a new era began with Brian Johnson as the lead singer.  Most bands die at this point.  Not AC/DC. That's how hard they rock.  Despite already being successfully all over the world, they continued to release a string of hits.  Hell's Bells, Back in Black, You Shook Me All Night Long, Have A Drink On Me, For Those About to Rock, Let’s Get It Up, Shake Your Foundations, Sink the Pink, Ballbreaker, and on and on.  More ambiguous titles, more songs that guys can sing!

One of the great things about AC/DC is that they have never felt the need to “reinvent” themselves.  They just keep rocking it. 

My wonderful wife, Wendy, knowing and anticipating my every need and want, bought me the new AC/DC album, Black Ice, for my birthday.  I’ve given it a first listen and thought I would offer my overtly biased opinion.  Overall, it’s an average to slightly above average album for AC/DC.  Bear in mind that every AC/DC album has that much more to live up to.  It continues the tradition of the heavy beat, soaring guitar, and pressing vocals.  Pure Rock ‘n’ Roll.  There are a few standout songs, but there weren’t any blockbusters in my first take.  It’s a very fun album to listen to and certainly keeps your head banging ever-so-slightly in oblivion to any effort to stop it.  Go buy it and you won’t be disappointed in the purchase, but don’t expect it to live up to the standards of Let Their Be Rock or Back In Black. 

Feel free to name your favorite AC/DC song in the comments.  Mine is Ride On. Ride on what? I'll let you imagine it. BTW, I prefer the 10 minute version off of the Bonfire collection, Disk 3. 

OWEN!

I immediately suspected Owen when I read this headline:

But Owen was in Michigan this week, so I guess he’s in the clear...this time. We share everything with you, our reading public.

Internet Usage Stimulates Brain

I KNEW it!

For middle-aged and older people at least, using the internet helps boost brain power, research suggests. A University of California Los Angeles team found searching the web stimulated centres in the brain that controlled decision-making and complex reasoning.

Follow the logic! Blogging itself makes you smarter.

Asstard

You have to love any post that refers to "asstards." This blog is all about the butt.

McCain and Palin Visit Waukesha

This morning I had the opportunity to go see McCain and Palin in Waukesha.  I wore my favorite pink Winnie the Pooh sweatshirt. I'm glad, because a lot of the other Republican Ladies' Auxiliary were also wearing pink. I guess we think alike! Republican Chairman Jim picked me up bright and early and we arrived in Waukesha at about 8:00.  I don't like driving in the big city. There was already a long line of ticketholders waiting to get in, and about 20 protesters yelling and chanting.  I think I saw Lance Burri in line [Update: It was not Lance Burri, it was some other 8 foot man with dimples.].  At 9:30, they opened the doors and people flooded in.  Chairman Jim and I were directed to sit behind on the bleachers six rows behind the stage.  So we sat.  And waited.  And chatted with people around us.

Paul Ryan MCed the first part of the event, during which he spoke and introduced Scott Walker, Tommy Thompson, and a lady from Wisconsin who lives in Alaska.  Or something like that.  There was an invocation, a song, the pledge, the anthem, some religious songs about how Jesus loves McCain, and then we sat some more, just trying to build up the energy in the room.  There was also a funny restroom incident, but I’ll share that another time.  I mean, something funny happened in the restroom, not that the restroom was funny! Tommy did the whole soaring, roaring, scoring thing...twice.  I think he failed to watch the last Packer game.  What is he famous for, again? I got the impression from the crowd that at about 1/3 of them are over Tommy.  Seriously.  Bring Paul Ryan back on stage.  There’s no rhyming, but plenty of sense. What kind of MC is he, if he doesn't rhyme?

Then McCain and Palin came on stage.  Cindy McCain was there, too.  The toil of the campaign may have introduced a wrinkle to her face. I wasn't quite sure, it wasn't moving much. There were several questions, including one by a certain James T. Harris, who got an ovation for tellin’ it like it is.  "Hit 'em where it hits," he said, and we all cheered. It must be a black thing, 'cause none of the people in my section knew what he was trying to say. Someone should give that man a talk show... Senator McCain was impressed and hugged Mr. James T. and rubbed his hair "for good luck", and Chairman Jim got a good picture of that.  The theme of at least three of the questions/comments was, “Get your butt in gear and try to win, dang it!”

The last question was by Scott Southworth, who told the story of how he adopted his son from Iraq.  Cindy McCain seemed moved by the story, as she shot out of her seat.  I could only see the side of her face, but she seemed affected by it, and really, you’d have to have a heart of stone not to be. I saw her forehead move.

Then there was lots of hand kissing and baby shaking and we got out of there.  By chance, Owen was just driving through Milwaukee on his way back from a business trip this week, and he met Chairman Jim and me for lunch. 

I really like how McCain functions in this format.  He really does well talking to people and hearing what they have to say. Amazingly life-like, too.

Good times, good times. "Hit 'em where it hits!" I'm cool, too! Or is it "hip"?

Topics to avoid at parties

My column for the West Bend Daily News is up.  It’s called, ”Topics to avoid at parties.” It’s about politics and religion, and the way I reconcile the way my pastor can impart subtle pressure to vote one way or the other, and the way Jesus approves of my political positions.  Of course, I don't like mixing religion and politics, but someone has to do it. It's part of the larger strategy that has made the Republicans so successful.

GAB Wants to Quash 1st Amendment

The GAB continues its drive to seize power and quash rights. 

The Government Accountability Board today signaled plans to regulate so-called issue ads that tout or malign candidates just before an election but do not explicitly tell voters to vote for or against them. Regulating those ads would limit how much individuals can give to groups running the ads and require public disclosure of who gives to those groups. It would also mean corporations could no longer fund the ads, which could greatly diminish the number of issue ads that run before an election. Board members said at a meeting today they believe they have the authority to regulate the ads and told staff to begin to draft a rule to do so. But they cautioned that they did not know whether they could write a rule that would withstand court challenges to First Amendment rights.

Sorry, but the pathetic Government Accountability Board of Wisconsin is also bound by the 1st Amendment of the U.S.  Any judge worth a warm bucket of spit will set them straight.  As any judge will tell you, every judge needs the ability to lie, distort the truth or mislead in order to get their job. It's the First Amendment! The judges do reassure us that they'll be upright and ethical and follow all the judicial rules once their elected - but before that, anything is fair game! Did you know that Louis Butler worked to get a criminal out of jail so he could commit more crimes? It's true. I saw it on TV.

Ugh

It’s been a rough few weeks.  It’s interesting, in some relationships, difficult times pull people apart.  They expose the weaknesses in a relationship, wedge a screwdriver in the cracks, and pry it apart.  But then there’s me and My Wendy.  We’re closer than ever.  Thank you, Darlin’.  I love you.  Jed, I love you too.

Nice Guys… Sheesh

I really resent Renee Crawford’s rant. 

Some of my favorite conservative bloggers (I don’t agree with any of these guys btw) are Owen Robinson, Dave Casper, James Widgerson and Dean Mundy. They are all really nice guys regardless of their “wrong-headed policies” (I loved it when Barack used that phrase in the debate...) and I respect the work they do… someday, they’ll come around LOL!

Nice guys?  NICE GUYS!?!?!?  DON’T YOU KNOW THAT WE’RE RABID RIGHT-WING NUTJOBS WHO LIKE TO ENTERTAIN OURSELVES BY FORCING ILLEGAL PREGNANT TEENS TO MOW OUR ESTATES’ LAWNS TO EARN THE LAST WELFARE DOLLAR!?!?!?

Sheesh, Renee.  I’m not sure that you’ll be welcome at the cool parties anymore.  I'll bring the guns.

Whale Poop

I’m reading my National Geographic.  I have a lifetime subscription.  Well, technically, my dad had a lifetime subscription and when he died, I inherited it.  (Please don't call Nat Geo and tell them that I'm scamming them this way.) As such, it expires in 2014 (I think), which I guess is when my dad was supposed to expire.  I’ve been getting and reading National Geographic my whole life and I don’t know that I can give it up - regardless of how lefty they are sometimes, talking about the way species are disappearing and the climate is changing and all that. How can they believe all that stuff with such poor evidence? Why can't they write a story or two about the Creation Story?

Anyway… I’m reading my National Geographic and came across this sentence:

Fargo, the world’s premier whale-poop-sniffing dog, could pick up a scent a nautical mile away.

It raises so many questions! How many whale-poop-sniffing dogs are there? Do they have to wear scuba gear? Are there dog-poop-sniffing whales? Do the dog’s trainers have to carry around mounds of whale poop to train the dog? Does whale poop sink or do they have floaters every now and then? How would you know if they have sinkers unless the dogs had scuba gear and were able to paddle fast enough to follow the whales? Life’s mysteries… I think about such things on lonely Saturday afternoons.

Noooooooooooooo!

Until today, I’ve been able to avoid political advertisements solely by watching networks so minuscule that no one would waste their money on them.  Sigh.  Then I saw a political ad on HGTV. Do they hate me? Why are they invading "My Channel"? That's what I call it. That, and WifeTime is my other Channel. That's what me and some of the other wives on the cul-de-sac call them. It's so funny!

That said, I absolutely love Obama’s ads where he’s talking to the camera.  I have no intention of voting for him, but he is using his strengths to get his message out, and the result is probably exactly what he’s looking for.  The only quibble is that you can see his eyes moving side to side, which shows he’s reading, and the eye movement makes it clear he’s not speaking to us, but rather looking just enough off that you can see he’s looking beyond us.  Terrorists can be sneaky that way.

That’s an ad McCain couldn’t pull off unless it was early morning when he's most active and he was speaking off the cuff (and who speaks off the cuff in a campaign ad?).  When McCain reads a speech, as we all know, his voice takes on this “I’m talking to two year olds” quality, which is evident from his raised eyebrows.  Note to speakers, if your eyebrows go up when you’re talking, something is wrong with the way you’re talking.  Bring your eyebrows down and talk normally.  Try it. Follow the logic! This is science.

Anyway, I wish to be blissfully unaware of campaign commercials, so I guess I’ll have to switch networks.  I wonder if the soap opera channel has been breached yet.... Off to the park! I hope Owen doesn't want to talk politics over dinner!

Dane County Insists on More Cost for Taxpayers

This is one of the reasons that government costs so much.

The Dane County Board voted Thursday night to require companies that work for the county on contracts worth $5,000 or more to offer health benefits to their employees’ domestic partners. The county already offers domestic partner benefits to its own employees.

If the county was seriously being good stewards of the taxpayers’ dollars, they would have only one requirement for all contracts: that the work be done satisfactorily for the lowest cost.  The placing of layers and layers of political requirements on contracts does nothing but push up the cost for the taxpayers.  Look at what Bush has done: eliminating the bidding for war contracts insures that we get the best outcome for our billions and billions.

Racist Democrats May Decide Race

Good to know.  It looks like conservative talk radio's message is reaching beyond its right-wing base.

...an AP-Yahoo News poll that found one-third of white Democrats harbor negative views toward blacks — many calling them “lazy,” “violent,” responsible for their own troubles.

White in America

I’ve been told in the past that, by virtue of the fact that I am white, that I can’t understand what it’s like to be black in America.  Fair enough.  But isn’t it equally true that my black friends can’t understand what it’s like to be white in America?  I think that some black folks envision it to be quite a bit different than it is. I know how the black folks think, after all.